Do You Lead Like a Lawnmower Parent?

Lawnmower parents suck. Yeah, I said it.

Feel free to hate me.

I'm not a parent. I'm also not a helicopter pilot, but if I see a helicopter in a tree, I know that someone messed up.

For those who don't know the term, lawnmower parents, also known as snowplow parents or bulldozer parents, are those who actively remove obstacles and hardships from their child's path, ensuring a smooth and easy journey for them. No bumps. No challenges. No struggles. Their mission? Make life as smooth as possible.

This proactive approach, while often stemming from a desire to protect and support, can hinder a child's development of essential life skills, resilience, and problem-solving abilities.

A 2015 survey found that 60% of college students felt ill-equipped to handle life's challenges following high school, such as loneliness and anxiety, because they haven't had practice in dealing with hardship. Children of lawnmower parents struggle with low confidence, anxiety, and coping skills.

Here's a more detailed explanation:

• Overly Involved and Protective: Lawnmower parents are highly involved in their children's lives, going to great lengths to prevent them from experiencing any kind of difficulty, failure, or discomfort.
• Clearing the Path: They proactively intervene to solve problems for their children, whether it's completing homework, arguing with teachers about grades, or smoothing over conflicts with peers.
• Examples: This can manifest in various ways, such as rescuing a child from a challenging sports team, emailing teachers to complain about grades, or constantly monitoring their child's social interactions.
• Consequences: While well-intentioned, this approach can lead to children lacking the ability to cope with adversity, develop self-reliance, and navigate challenges independently. A generation that folds at the first sign of fraction.
• Comparison to Helicopter Parents: While both lawnmower and helicopter parents are overly involved, lawnmower parents actively remove obstacles, whereas helicopter parents hover and closely monitor their children.

Sounds nice, right? Wrong.

The problem is when you bulldoze every barrier, you bulldoze their resilience too. Kids never learn to cope with adversity, build problem-solving skills, or develop independence. And guess what? That’s the exact same problem I see in the workplace when leaders do it.

It reminds me of a powerful truth: a butterfly must struggle to fly. If you cut it out of the cocoon, it never strengthens its wings. It ends up grounded, looking up at the sky, wondering what could have been.

Parents, your kid needs the cocoon, the struggle. Leaders, so does your team.

The Kayak Incident I’ll Never Forget

In August 2020, I led a family on a kayak tour. Parents each in a tandem kayak with a child under 13. 15-year-old boy in his own kayak. He was easily identified as uncoordinated, however, he was the one wanting to do the tour because of his love of nature and science.

Unsurprisingly the first few minutes were a mess...even for the tandems. The boy was just freezing and doing everything wrong. The mom adamant that I hook the tow rope to his boat and "just get on with it".

That is always the last resort and even more so when instructed to by a parent like that.

We take some time and get him functional.

Fast-forward an hour: he's learning, still struggling. Another tough moment hits, and I’m firm with him. I give clear, direct instructions. He listens. He gets to safety.

Mom again: “Just tow him, he can’t do this.”

Me: “He’s been doing it for an hour. He’s learning something new.”

About 30 minutes later a similar situation arises. He does what he needed to do and shouts "Did you see that mom?" (I'm not sure if he was looking for praise, validation, or shoving it in her face.)

However, her response of "took you long enough" is probably what he's become accustom to. If it weren't for the child in the front of her boat I might have tipped her.

He fought through failure and won, but received zero recognition. If her attitude didn’t drown his confidence, her words almost did.

This situation is extreme but honestly not uncommon. With all the events we have done for youth it has become an unsettling trend that parents don't let their kids fail. They don't let them try more than once. They mow down the obstacles prior to them ever witnessing them so often the result is whining (even from teens and older) at the first sign of something not being "easy".

What Does This Have to Do with Leadership?

Everything.

Enabling isn't bad. It's what good leaders do. We remove barriers that don’t need to exist and provide resources so people can grow. But when we over-enable, we rob them of the very struggles that make them stronger.

Want your team to develop grit, resilience, and confidence? Stop mowing down every obstacle.

Let them fail.

Let them figure it out.

Coach, don’t control.

As an employer, I've hired many high schoolers and young adults. While we attempt to hire problem solvers and thinkers, sometimes new hires get distraught when they have to think on their feet.

Why? Because for years, someone else has been doing the thinking for them. They’ve been conditioned to believe mistakes are catastrophic instead of essential. They've grown up in a world where answers are spoon-fed on the first page of Google (or now by AI) rather than developed through curiosity and persistence.

The world needs fewer page-one answer seekers and more fifth-page search results diggers... People who are willing to wrestle with problems and find solutions that aren’t obvious.

So how do we fix it? By creating an environment where failure is safe, learning is expected, and effort and accountability still matter.

I Asked C.A.R.L. (our Cohesive Artificial Response Leader), "How can I create a safe environment for failure that still demands accountability?"

Here's his response:

Creating a safe environment for failure while maintaining accountability is a key aspect of fostering a Cohesion Culture™. Here are some insights based on our principles:

1. Model Learning Behavior: Encourage a culture where experimentation, adaptability, and learning from mistakes are valued. This creates a safe space for employees to try new things without fear of failure.
2. Extend Grace: Offer support and understanding when mistakes occur. This helps regenerate and inspire virtuous impulses, allowing team members to learn and grow from their experiences.
3. Seek Truth: Encourage open and honest communication. Leaders should face reality and address issues based on facts, not opinions. This helps navigate conflicts and find resolutions.
4. Cultivate Transformational Leadership: Focus on aligning values and inspiring an aspirational vision. This approach helps in solving for both today and tomorrow, ensuring that accountability is part of the growth process.
5. Encourage Collaboration and Trust: Build relationships where both parties have an equal voice and are teachable. Trust provides a strong foundation for removing dysfunctions and promoting accountability.

By integrating these principles, you can create an environment where team members feel safe to take risks and learn from their failures, while still being held accountable for their actions and contributions.

Often things that are easy aren't worth it, and most things that are worth it aren't easy.

What do you think? Have you seen lawnmower parenting or lawnmower leadership in action? Drop your thoughts in the comments. And if this hits a nerve... good. Growth usually does.

Click here to check out this youngster who was allowed to fail over and over again. And then witness the elation on her face when she finally succeeds.